On Smokers

I have a coworker who smokes. She's also asthmatic. (No, she's not Jewish.) And every time I see her short of breath and in need of an inhaler, I wonder what she's doing to herself. My personal opinion is that people who smoke should not be given prescriptions for breathing treatment, but that won't be put into effect now. Perhaps with Obama's new healthcare plan, it may be. Then again, maybe not. After all, Obama smokes too.

Anyway, after coming to this conclusion, I realized that we're all guilty of the same thing. Maybe Hashem shouldn't allow people who do averos to do teshuva. After all, we got ourselves into this mess, why should we be given a prescription to save us now? But Hashem, in His ultimate kindness, gives us the key to return. Do we even realize what a big Chessed it is?

As Rabbi Yaakov Salomon says, it's definitely something to think about.

Have a Good One...

I took my little brothers to get slurpees the other day, and on the way out, we met my neighbors. After schmoozing for a few minutes (and telling them that we used up all the slurpees in the store, so they'll just have to buy lottery tickets insted), my neighbor said, "Have a good one!" My six-year-old brother looked at me and said, "What does 'have a good one' mean?"

Good question! It's become a phrase that's thrown around very casually. People used to say have a good morning, afternoon, evening, night, etc. Now, they just say have a good one. Why?

I think it's because we've become lazy. Why should we think about what time of day it is? The person we're talking to can figure it out! It's so much easier to say have a good one!

So, have a good one, everyone! (Year, I mean!)

Dressed to Kill...Who?

So I got myself new glasses and spent a lot of money on new clothes, so that I can look mature and in style. I thought I looked okay, and most importantly, I was comfortable. Well, my mother came home from the wedding and told me that a friend of hers said that I looked great, but if I get lenses and wear high heels, it would be even better.

Now, high heels give me blisters, and I'm not ready to commit to the amount of time that lenses take to take care of. Why can't I just be myself, and then I'll be able to marry someone who appreciates the real me?

We single girls need to dress to kill. Who are we killing here?

Faith-In Hard Times Too

Floating along, so calmly and peacefully,
Enjoying the wind in my face.
Yes, there are troubles, life ain't perfect,
But it's stuff I have no problem dealing with.
It's easy to say I have faith,
That the One Above wrote the script,
I feel like a child being taken care of,
By my Loving Father who wants only what's best for me.

Then, boom!
Something happens.
Something that makes me not able to fall asleep at night,
Something that makes me feel shaky all day.
Something that makes me stop and think,
Did that really happen to me?
To me, whom G-d loves so much,
And takes such good care of?

It's a lot harder to remember that He's still there for me,
That He still wants what's best for me.
It takes a lot more time to remind myself
That I didn't write the script.
And no, I didn't watch the practices for this play.
I just have to remember that all plays have happy endings.
Even if I don't know what it is yet.
The Director is right here in His office,
Watching to make sure all the parts are done right.
I may not know the ending in this world.
But someday, all the pieces will fall into place,
And I'll feel safe and secure once again.

Broken Home

A broken home, torn asunder,
Ripped apart, pillaged and plundered.
A mother and father, now separated,
What happened to the home that they created?
The children confused, where will they be living?
Their innate loyalty, to whom should be given?
When one parent says one thing, the other the reverse,
There's no easy answer, no "of course."
Confusion is common, with nowhere to go,
For listening to one will hurt the other so.


Does all of this sound very foreign to you?
It is, in reality, the life of every Jew.
There's our Father in Heaven, and the earth down below,
When there's temptation down here, which way do we go?
We all are so quick to judge and discuss,
Remember, though, this situation applies to all of us.

(in)Famous

Baruch Dayan Haemes - usually such a sad phrase,
Today I can say with the intent to truly praise.
For today, the lowest of the low,
Who raised himself up high,
Had a heart attack,
And waved this world goodbye.
Michael Jackson made himself a name,
Worked hard to build up his fame,
Adored by the whole American nation,
On the cover of every publication,
Looked like quite a sensation,
In truth, he was an abomination.

There is justice in this world, tis very plain to see,
Thank you, Hashem, for showing yourself to me.

I hate it when...

I hate it when the boy takes a few weeks to say yes, and when he finally does, the shadchan gives you three days to look into him.

I hate it when the boy takes two weeks to say no, and when asked why, he says that he doesn't give reasons.

I hate it when the boy says no based on information he got from other people, and won't give a reason for saying no.

I hate it when the boy makes you meet his mother and then says no, but won't tell you why, because the girl can't do anything about it anyway.

I hate it when the boy takes you out on two dates, keeping you out very late on the second one, and then says no without any prior warning.

I hate it when the boy...

You can fill in the blank.

Special Delivery

I know he's out there somewhere.

He must be wrapped up in a box, with pretty wrapping paper on it. He probably has a pretty bow on top, with a note that says, "Special delivery - just for you."

But it's sure taking a long time for the Mailman to bring him to my address.

The Real World

I've been looking into buying a car. So far, I've only dealt with frum dealers and private sellers. This morning, I drove 40 minutes each way to look at car being sold by a dealer. It was advertised for $2,000, and looked like it was a great deal. We looked at it, drove it, and were ready to buy it.

When we sat down with the guy, he asked us if we noticed the fine print. It said something about a down payment of $2750. In reality, all the cars that they sell start at $2750. The advertised price is on top of that. Real suave, no?

I think I'll stick with people I can trust.

All Types

It takes all kinds of people to make up a world. There are the teachers, the secretaries, the doctors, the lawyers, etc. But one thing that every Jewish person has is that little bit of shadchan in them.

It takes all kinds of shadchanim to marry people off. There are the pushy ones, the laid back ones, the money-hungry ones, and the mitzvah kind. What they all need to remember is that even though it looks like they're the ones doing the work, there' s Someone else pulling the strings. If it's supposed to go through, it will. But only at the right time.

Marriage

Marriage...that elusive thing that makes two people into one.

How long until I will find my other half?

I wish I had a glass ball, so that I can see how long I will have to wait.

On second thought, maybe the anticipation is better this way.

Puh-leeze!

I get redd a lot of shidduchim at work. None have gone anywhere, but it's nice to be thought of just the same. So when a nice frum lady, who I'm pretty friendly with, asked me how old I am, I thought she had something in mind, and told her my age.

Big mistake.

Her response was: "Nu?"

As they say in Timbuktu, Puh-leeze!

Batteries

Tonight, as I was putting my little brothers to sleep, one little brother wanted to use the other's CD player. Of course, younger brother didn't want to let. In an attempt to get him to allow it, I told him that if the batteries run out, we'll get him new ones. His response? "I don't want new ones. I like these batteries."

I was thinking about his comment later on. It applies nicely to shidduchim.

We are not supposed to daven for a specific boy (or girl), but rather, for the right one for us. We may like these batteries, but if they're dead, they won't be of much use to us.

Broken Engagements

There's a phenomenon that's unfortunately become much more common recently in the frum world. Broken engagements.

How many girls do I know that got engaged, only to break it shortly after, and some, right before the wedding?

Why is this happening?

I have a theory. Feel free to disagree.

I think that girls are scared to say no. If they say no to this one, who's to say there will be another one after this? Look at all the older singles! We're in middle of a major Shidduch CRISIS. Maybe, if we take away the pressure, girls can relax and feel secure that he will come at the right time.

Old Age

An old lady looks out her window.
The world has passed her by.
The little infants, adorable toddlers,
Now adults, with busy lives.

Although I'm yet young,
Still very few in years,
Why do I sometimes feel like that old lady,
Holding back my tears?

As I watch the young girls,
Whose "big sister" in high school I was,
Get engaged to those very boys,
On whose list I was.

Light!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's the light of an oncoming train.
-A harried mother juggling three sick kids

Shidduch Resume

What a great idea!
A Shidduch resume!
Put all info on one page,
It's much easier that way.

But wait - what's this?
You don't like what I wrote?
Change this word? Delete this line?
I've totally missed the boat?

Shadchan #1 says:
"That makes you look too frum."
Shadchan #2:
"That makes you sound so krum!"

Then comes Shadchantes,
Numbered 3 and 4,
"Change that phrase!
Are you looking for a bore?"

So I make all the changes,
And send it again,
Hope against hope,
But what happens then?

Shadchan #5
Comes running along,
And tells me to sing
A whole different song.

Right behind him,
Is Shadchan #6,
Who tells me to play,
Some brand new tricks.

What should I do?
Where shall I turn?
Without a resume,
I'm finished, I'm burned.

I'll just have to rely,
On the One Above,
Who has all of my info,
And I can always count on His love.

The Leaf

I thought I was strong.
A leaf attached firmly to the tree.
I knew where I was.
Exactly where I wanted to be.
But then...the wind blew.
Does it take so little to sway me?

Does it really matter?

White shirt, black hat,
Black suit and a tie,
Is the description
Of a Yeshivish guy.

Striped shirt or colored,
Knitted kippah on his head,
Tan pants or jeans,
Now he's modern instead.

Yeshivish, modernish,
Knitted kippah, black hatter,
Can you tell me one thing-
Does this really matter?

A Bais Yaakov uniform,
Tights that are black,
Buttoned up to her neck,
That's a girl that's geshmak.

Wearing a denim skirt,
Short socks that reveal,
Her collarbone showing,
A much more modern appeal.

Bais Yaakov, more modern,
Skinnier, or fatter,
Can you tell me one thing-
Does this really matter?

Why do we judge
From the outer appearance?
Why does this rate
Our approval or leerings?

Why are we divided
Into so many factions?
How soon will we decide
That unity is in fashion?

A Little Sensitivity

My seven-year-old brother told me that he said the following in Shma Koleinu today:

"Hashem, you know where my sister's chosson is. Can you please just send him to us?"

May his Tefillos be accepted.

Lessons from Work

Here are a few lessons I learned at work this week:

-Do not scream at the person who answers the phone. She is rarely the one who made the mistake that you're calling about.

-Do not blame the person at the front desk because your appointment is running late. It's not her fault.

-Do not make plans to go anywhere immediately after work. You may end up staying two hours late.

-Do not push the nurse who is trying to treat your son. She may have you arrested.

Get the point? Yes, it's been a crazy week, and it's only Tuesday! Maybe for Purim shtick I'll put a dummy in my seat with a sign that reads, "It's all my fault!"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll try to get some sleep.

Grow up!

Every office has one. A grouch. A pain in the neck. Whatever you want to call it.

You will now be privy to what I would like to say to my coworker, but wouldn't dare.

Ever heard the phrase, "It's not what you do, but how you do it?" Yes, we know how much you do here in this office, and we appreciate it, but we don't need you on top of the rest of us all the time. We have our work, and you have yours, so if we're sitting around chatting, it means that we're finished what we have to do, even if you haven't.

How come it is that if you make a mistake, you're human, humans make mistakes, and it's okay, but if it's someone else's mistake, it's the biggest deal in the world?! Are we not human?

Yes, I understand your life is hard, but sometimes, so is ours! We don't come in screaming at everyone when life is tough at home. We leave our baggage at the door and pick it up again on the way out.

With all your seniority, etc., you still have a good number of years left to live. Please, make them pleasant ones, for yourself, and for us.


Thanx for listening. I feel a lot better now.

'Twas great!

So, I'm back to real life. My trip to Israel was amazing - a real breath of fresh air. I didn't realize how much I needed this until I was there.

Seeing all my relatives, davening at kevarim of grandparents and tzaddikim, going to the Kosel, to Kever Rachel (off limits in my seminary year!) - there's no words to describe it.

I hope it'll keep me going until the next time I can go.

The Airport Scene

Have you ever gone to the airport to see off a relative or friend? Last night, I did. Only it wasn't at the airport. It was at her chasuna.

Last night I went to the chasuna of my neighbor/friend. While thrilled for her, I felt as though I were seeing her off on a plane to a new life, and she was leaving me behind at the observation deck. I felt like shouting, "Don't take off yet! I want to join!"


Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that I'm going to Eretz Yisroel in a little over a week. If you'd like to email me your name, I'd be happy to daven for you while I'm there. Just email me at trthekeyisme@gmail.com.

...And another one

Another girl from my grade got engaged tonight. I was friendly with her, but not too close. It still hurts.

Don't get me wrong. I'm really happy for her, and wish her a lot of hatzlacha and brocha. As for me, I'm still waiting for my miracle.

I keep telling myself that maybe it's this phone call, this name, that this one is gonna be it. And when the phone doesn't ring, I tell myself that very soon, it will. Most of the time, it works. But it's at times like this that I wonder how I keep going, how I stay strong.

Pluses and Minuses

There was a letter in this week's Yated that got me thinking. The letterwriter commented how shocked she was that, in a previous letter, someone mentioned "worldly" in a list of good attributes of a good boy. According to this lady, "wordly" is a terrible thing for a boy to be, as it means that he does not always have his head in a gemara, and that he is no longer an "innocent" Yeshiva Bochur.

In my opinion, there are no ma'alos or chesronos in shidduchim. Every person is looking for someone whom they admire and would like to spend the rest of their lives with. What is good for one person can be terrible for the next.

There's nothing wrong with that. If we were all the same, the world would be very boring.

The sea

An oxymoron, a living contradiction,
Where logic and emotion collide.
A dark night, a peaceful sea,
Who can know the pebbles that churn underneath?

A stormy sea, the crashing waves,
That come one after another.
It looks so powerful, so mighty,
But upon reaching the shore, it breaks.

Layer upon layer of rough sand,
Smoothed by the rushing waters,
That come without fail,
But always return to their rightful place.

The sea, so friendly at times,
Yet so fearful in it's stormy rage.
A rocking ship, it's passengers in fright,
Awaiting the return of the sunny skies.

A cycle repeated, day after day,
Forming the years of our lives.
Forcing us to struggle to remain afloat,
Until at last we're rewarded,
As the sun pokes through the clouds.